I wish I could have little print outs of this and give them to all the dudes who feel entitled to have access to me on the bus, at cafes, and when I’m just walking/biking around and won’t leave me alone even when I pointedly will not respond to them, won’t make eye contact or switch seats to get away from them.
I think the saddest part about this is I don’t get it. I don’t get how it has come to this, either. I’m male, so I don’t get what it’s like to have another sex bother you. I’m always delighted to strike up a conversation with any gender. But I’m a little extroverted like that.
But this is where sexual harassment has brought us. Women literally just don’t want to talk to anyone (they don’t know), anymore. Even in public places, while working publicly, they just flat-out don’t want to be talked-to. And this is your fault, Assholes out there. You’ve ruined my dream of just being able to communicate without feeling yet another kind of social anxiety (it wasn’t more than 10 years ago I was still worried about being snatched off the street). Now, according to this artist, I am not able to tell you if you like your dress and I have to worry that you don’t know me well enough to feel comfortable having this conversation. And fuck, dresses can be awesome.
I don’t have a point, I just am amiss. I feel like romance is dead. No more love at first sight.
Everything my mom told me about meeting a nice girl was wrong.
I find this comic a little silly. Although I agree with some of the points, the message is very negative. Yes, when first speaking to a complete stranger of the opposite sex, you should probably not compliment her dress. It can come off as a little seedy and thus the girl you’re speaking to will probably ignore you/thank you and then try to ignore you (unless you’re perked her interest, of course). If she’s wearing headphones, yeah she probably doesn’t want to be spoken to and you shouldn’t try (unless she’s dropped something, then I’m sure they’d be very grateful). If they only have one earphone in, that’s a completely different story! Go for it, say hello~
Not making eye contact/facing away from you? Dumb. Of course someone sitting alone wouldn’t be facing you.
It’s all about reading the situation, really. If you say hello and she replies with merely a smile or a murmur, yeah she’s probably not interesting in speaking to you. Leave her alone. If she says hello back and turns her shoulders to face you slightly, then continue conversing!
I love meeting new people and I’d hate to think that something like this would make anyone stop reaching out. I think the message that the OP is trying to get across is that guys should realise when their actions have crossed that point from friendlessness to harassment.
Damn sucks to have all that privilege stopping you from making friends dude.
FYI: nobody is public property, nobody is obliged to reciprocate because you reached out and you are a ‘nice friendly guy’, this isn’t about sexual harrasment (although that certainly is part of the problem) it is about violence, the threat of violence and the disambiguation. This isn’t because a few of your “asshole” friends took it too far with a few “jokes”, society is geared in a way to make public property out of any woman who steps outside, purely for existing within its dimensions and that any woman who fears for her safety in a society built upon patriarchal obejctification and rape-culture, is unjustifiably defensive in denying you your privilege in treating her as a means to your own ends, namely your imposed social values.
Okay, as a female who gets approached like this constantly, don’t do it. I don’t care what you think might seem ‘friendly’, don’t do it. I hear you about to protest- shut up, listen to me and DON’T DO IT.
Last time this happened to me was just over a week ago in a food court when I was eating alone. Some guy decided he wanted to tell me how nice my hair looked or something and then laid out a barrage of questions to which my response was primarily ‘Eating hokkien noodles’, ‘I just want to eat my noodles’, ‘Okay…*looks at noodles*’. Seriously, I have enough friends. You coming up to me makes me feel threatened, creeped out because you have been watching me and annoyed because you’re interrupting me from minding my own damn business.
You know where I go to make friends? Social events like parties, bars, clubs, hang outs, college classes/groups. If you see me sitting at a desk alone making no attempt to interact with anyone, that is exactly where I want to be and exactly what I want to be doing so don’t try to convince me otherwise.
Nah I just don’t agree with this. I’ll start off by saying that I don’t want to hide behind the “I just want to make friends” argument. If I approach someone I’m fairly clear about what my intentions are.
I also won’t adress whether I think most chicks go to clubs to socialise with anyone outside of their clique (errrr… they don’t)
I know plenty of girls who will perv on dudes in public and wish that somehow a conversation might spark. I’ve also dated girls that I met through just approaching them in public while they were doing every day shit same with some of my friends. The thing is that if you just for a second allow yourself to believe that not all guys think they own random women on the street and reverse the roles you’ll see it’s fucking TERRIFYING to approach a random girl in public. I mean sure, ice heads and crazy people find it easy, but most normal people shit themselves. Imagine doing it yourself. Imagine you see someone who looks genuinely cool and maybe he/she is wearing the t-shirt of your favourite band or just looks like they have a fricking nice ass or maybe they’re talking about something you’re super into I don’t know imagine a dude or chick you’d reblog on your tumblr lol. Now go say hi. It’s super scary.
The worst part about it is that like 80% of the time you’ll get blown off too. At this point I think it’s time to cut losses. If someone’s made it clear that they aren’t interested in talking to me and I keep going I’m just being pest and I can understand that people get irritated by that or weirded out, whatever I’m not a d-bag. Maybe you find me weird, or you have a partner or are just out of a long relationship, or just got fired and are having the worst day ever or maybe you just want to enjoy your coffee in peace. I’ll excuse myself and leave it at that, but I think it’s actually kind of matronising to tell people who they can or can’t talk to.
I got approached by an older bird one time eating lunch at uni. She was pretty weird and persistent and asked me for my number. I gave it to her and I think she might have texted me but I didn’t have her number saved. Whatever, it didn’t ruin my week. I admit that it’s a rarity for me to get hit on in public where as I understand that it happens to women more often and I don’t really have to worry about her out muscling me so it’s not an entirely fair comparison. Still though life is just fucking awkward at times and everyone has to deal with that to some degree, sometimes the awkwardness pays off though and magic happens.
Also what up Dane lol
THIS IS FUCKED I DREAM THAT NICE GUYS WILL HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO COME UP AND TALK TO ME
FUCK YOU THIS IS HOW RELATIONSHIPS START
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
OBVIOUS IF SOMEONE HAS THEIR EARPHONES IN OR ARE CLEARLY BUSY, NO. BUT THIS IS REGARDLESS OF GENDER
If someone comes up and tries to talk to you, someone who you don’t want to talk to, you politely end the conversation. If they persist, you take it further.