November 2010
So, so alone.
I was so insanely, impeccably happy there for a while when I was with you. Perfection. I gave my cliché “everything” to you. I tried it all. Why your feelings changed alludes me. I should get over this.
I remember when I was in the school band at infants school where I played the clarinet, and in the middle of a song I would blow so hard that it made an ear-piercing screech, or I would blow and move my fingers like crazy, making a horrid noise. I didn’t think the conductor could hear me. Kinda cute.
… although I’m still socially inept on here, I’m starting to get the hang of it!
I have a cousin’s wedding at 4:30 today which is horrible. It’s raining and humid and I don’t like my extended family. The only thing I am excited about is meeting my gay cousin who I’ve never met before. His name is Jye and he has performed in the many amazing places including the West End, having large roles in Wicked, Jersey Boys and various other musicals. He also has a big, black boyfriend who I wish to meet, they may make my family a bit more interesting and less contrived.
The best thing about all this is that Jye’s dad, my uncle Frank, is a huge Christian, although he is a big headed, chauvanistic, sleezy man. He doesn’t approve of Jye of course.
The other good thing about this wedding is that I have a wide array of new heels that I can wear. That is all.
I’d like to note that this is my 10th day on the dreaded acne medication “Roaccutane”. I think I’m experiencing this “flare up” that is supposed to happen before it gets better- perfect for this wedding. I find the fact that some people think I’m good looking hilarious.
Au revoir.